we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i dont even know how to be here
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
