theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
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I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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