You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
