I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
