We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
