can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My pussy is not your playground.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
