I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
