You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
