U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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