i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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