I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
the room spins SO much faster in panama
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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