we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
