He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
