I wanna bring you to show and tell
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
