just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
