An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
