i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
