i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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