I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
