if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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