the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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