Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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