Apparently you make a good broom.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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