Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
