He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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