Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
is wine microwaveable?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
