Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
