he was CRYING into my vagina
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
