You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
