You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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