Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
