Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
