i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
