Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize