The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
