that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
