also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
