drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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