dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
