could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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