you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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