And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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