what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
