I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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