he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize