Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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