somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize