I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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