Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
