it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
