i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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