do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
