It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
