we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
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Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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