We're facebook friends in real life
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"