This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Everyone says I win the strip club
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.