Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...