And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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