Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
