you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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