Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
