I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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